Suddenly

Well.

Any emotion that was lacking last night certainly came to the surface at this morning's class. It was very difficult for me to say goodbye to these women because they really were my favorite. I have a wonderful time with Saginuma, but this Wednesday morning class has built relationships that I've really appreciated and enjoyed. I've spent the most time with these students outside of class-at meals, around the city, with their families. We've had good discussions-about culture, about tradition, about faith. And when I shared my testimony with them this morning, they were listening like friends listen. I will miss these ladies very much.

Timing always seems to be perfect and I came home just in time to catch Angela May at home and we talked for a bit, before going downstairs to a tea party hosted by Denise and little Joanna. It was a perfect day. The temperature's even dropped just a bit and I was able to sit comfortably on the porch and finish my last read of the summer, A Daughter of the Samurai.

Tomorrow will be a day of packing. Perhaps I should have started tonight, but I was more interested in finishing my photobook on Snapfish from my time here. If everything works out well, I'll have all my pictures developed and put together before I even get home! Once again technology makes our lives so much easier.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, 11

There is a time for everything,

and a season for every activity under the heavens:

a time to be born and a time to die,

a time to plant and a time to uproot,

a time to kill and a time to heal,

a time to tear down and a time to build,

a time to weep and a time to laugh,

a time to mourn and a time to dance,

a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

a time to embrace and a time to refrain,,

a time to search and a time to give up,

a time to keep and a time to throw away,

a time to tear and a time to men,

a time to be silent and a time to speak,

a time to love and a time to hate,

a time for war and a time for peace.

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

...One left...

I feel like I'm floating in gently lapping water. I feel like I'm being carried. I feel like I'm not really feeling. Which is perhaps a good thing, perhaps a coping mechanism that my subconscious has chosen without asking my opinion.

I said farewell to two more of my classes tonight. My heart is crying, but I just can't force it up any further. Because really, at the core of everything, is my Heavenly Father. And, like I've already said (and could repeat repeat repeat) I know... I know that He's taking me home for a purpose.

It was beautiful to share that with my classes tonight. Instead of sharing another Bible story, I shared my testimony with them. I'd love to say the emotion overflowed and I sang the words of God's faithfulness; but that's not it. I know the Lord will use the words. And I know I said what needed to be said---I looked each of them in the eye and told them "God loves you." Over and over and over. Love drove me here and that's the one, the most important message that they needed to hear..... but the frail part of me wishes I could've pushed out some tears. I could've felt it. Instead of floating along with the ebb of the tide.

Praise God that faith does not equal emotion.

Praise God that emotions are only that... emotions.

Praise God that He is sovereign and He is the One who works.

My devotional for today reminded me of that. Like Paul says in 1 Corinthians 3:6-9, we sow and we water, but it is God who makes the plants grow. Eyes that see and ears that hear--both belong to the Lord. Praise the Lord that He and He alone is in control.

I thank God for Atsuko, for Hisa, for Setsuko, for Yoshida, for Keito, for Keiko, for Junichi.

Nichiyobi

Today was my second-to-last Sunday at Chuo Church. This time next week I'll be preparing to head back to the States.

Because one of the gentlemen, my translator, Mr. Asoka, will be away on business next week, Kim Sensei made sure we took a church photo this morning. Of course I brought my camera, only they didn't recognize the difference between video and photo.

I currently have five amazing videos of our congregation posing.

And no pictures.

Haha :)

Ending is Beginning

My countdown is officially in the single digits.

I'm a little miffed. A little dazed by it. A little excited. Name an emotion and I probably feel it.

But even as I go through the gamut of emotions, my days seems to be getting better and better. On Wednesday my morning class took me out for a delicious lunch and gave me a beautiful set of Arita tea cups. And in the evening it was my last class at Saginuma. One of the faithful few was sick, and even though she couldn't stay for class, she came in to say goodbye. The three of us who remained had a ball--there was a lot of laughing, I remember that much. I'm glad that I have one more night with all of them. This coming Friday, we're going out to "our" restaurant, the fish restaurant. And the guys I haven't seen since before the holidays will be there as well. I'm so looking forward to that.

Yesterday and the day before were spent in Hakone with Anne Marie. It was a wonderful trip, beautiful mountains. I got to experience the Japanese countryside as well as some history. I'm reading Daughter of a Samurai and it was neat to explore the time period that I'm reading about. We spent the night in a traditional Japanese hotel--tatami room, hot spring baths. I felt out of place and at home all at the same time.

I'm so excited about what God is doing in and through me. Endings are natural periods of reflection and I've been doing a lot of that. God's taught me so much, reminded me so much of His faithfulness and power. He's teaching me about praying with expectancy. And He's showing me what happens when you fully surrender and let Him work. I've thought back through conversations I've had with my students and I'm amazed at the number of times I can honestly say it was Him speaking and not me. This last week in our Bible times was a perfect example. I knew the story I was supposed to share, but I didn't know what to say. And before I realized it, I was sharing about the cross and Jesus' amazing gift to us. I was empty of words, but the Lord provided.

I think my favorite part of this whole experience has been sharing God's awesome love with those around me: through words and action both. I love that moment in the Bible lessons where I can look each one of my students in the eye and tell them how great is God's love. Have you ever felt your face radiating? It's Exciting to tell people that God loves them! It's like I get to share in this amazing gift-giving process. To see the looks on some of their faces--they're shocked. I don't know if they're more shocked by my volume and enthusiasm or by what I'm saying, but with some of them, I can see they're hearing and it's Exciting! There are many who don't pay attention and many who watch the clock, but that doesn't matter. It's those times where I can't keep my mouth shut, even if they don't seem to be hearing. It's such a beautiful and amazing thing to be able to share love with somebody.

I'm not quite sure what to expect with the rest of my nine days here, but the Lord will work everything out. I'm excited to see what He has for me when I get home, because I know He has something planned. I've felt throughout these last five months that now is a jumping off point. From here on out, the Lord's taking me and we're running together. Last Spring when I prayed the words of Isaiah 6, Here I am, Lord, send me, I didn't realize that they'd extend well past the time that I'm here. And finally we've reached the point where He's sending me home. Just as the Lord brought me here for a purpose, He's bringing me home for a purpose as well.

And I can't wait to see what it is.

Time goes by

Despite the fact that summer heat still blazes and rainy season-style humidity reigns supreme here in Tokyo, we were bless with the perfect September evening today. And as I walked slowly down the street where I live, I was overwhelmed to tears. Blessed is not a strong enough word. Truly, how is this fair that I am allowed such grace and mercy by our God?

I don't want to leave.

This has been a perfect Labor Day weekend. I closed out my Friday night with a student's family. I met Machiko at the church and together we walked to her house where I spent four lovely hours around her dinner table, talking with her, her husband, and her son. She was so excited to practice English and pushed her family, as only a matriarch can, to do the same. "Tell her about yourself. In English? Of course, in English!" They pulled out old photo albums and Google maps so that we could see exactly the house in Kobe where Machiko's husband was born. And they were so excited to see not only my old apartment in Lakeshore, but also my new house on Capitol and the IMS. It was a really fantastic evening.

Today, too, was majestic. This is perhaps the most at home I've felt here, and I don't remember a day yet that has been so effortless. We've spent this term reading bits and pieces of C.S. Lewis's Prince Caspain in one class and I was determined to give them each an English copy on the last class. English books aren't the easiest to find, though it's certainly not impossible, and finding a specific one is even more challenging. Then try finding three copies of that one book. Luckily, the Chronicles of Narnia series has risen in popularity, so I haven't scrambled to find them. I found two copies on Thursday at a store in Ikebukuro and my only aim today was to find that third copy. On my drives to Chuo I pass two bookstores and I thought it would be pleasant to walk there today. Of course it was ridiculously hot, but that was half the fun!

It took about an hour and a half, but I made it to both bookstores--neither of which had an English section. It was still fun to look, though. A bookstore is a bookstore.

So I found my own way (I had no directions!) from the Book Center to Higashi-Kurume eki without struggle and boarded a train to Ikebukuro. Since I have to go through there to get to Shibuya, I figured I'd try Junkudo to see if they'd restocked. They hadnt', but why wouldn't I take one more chance to walk through Ikebukuro? I never thought when I started out this morning that my day would end in Shibuya, but it did, and how much fun I had! That is, I think, my favorite part of the city. Yes, it's so touristy, but there's a reason for that. It's just a fun, fun place to be. The top floor of Tower Records is an English bookstore where I found the exact copy I needed within the first two minutes of reaching the store. I spent a little bit of time wandering through the streets before heading back to Higashi Tokorozawa. Even now I'm amazed at the ease with which I moved from place to place to place. It all came nearly without conscious thought, as if it was second-nature. And perhaps, after 4 1/2 months, it is.

I don't want to leave, yet.

Just a few videos..

Koenji Awaodori Festival

Dinner with some Saginuma students

Worship on Fujisan with the Chun-An team

Trains, streams, and dinner parties

As I stood wedged between three salarymen, a short old lady clutching onto her purse for dear life, and two young girls jabbering away with their keitai flipped open, I looked out the window of the train. We were stopped at a station headed out of the city, back towards Higashi Tokorozawa. A train pulled up alongside us, headed into the city. A few gentlemen stood up, smiling, and two or three empty seats dotted the car. Staring longingly at their car, I just knew they were looking into ours thinking "Thank the Lord I'm not on that train." It was then that our train lurched forward again and the three salarymen, the short old lady, and the two young girls and I were tossed around like a salad, but with less room to breathe. By the time we all settled into the movement of the train, our sumimasen's uttered, we were all in different positions, facing new passengers, with scenery to view.

Such is riding the train at 9:30 on a Wednesday night. Each of my Wednesday nights look like this, some worse--very few better. At 9:30 on a Wednesday night, the working men are on their way home from drinking with their colleagues and the trains become crammed. Crammed is not a strong enough word. People flood onto the trains until you think no one else can fit---and then six more people board.

The stations, too, are a nightmare. A sea of white button-down shirts and black slacks descends upon the ticket wicket and briefcases go flying outward as their owners run to make their transfers. There are people. Everywhere. The closest parallel I can make from the States is Black Friday's WalMart opening. Remember when the employee was trampled? This is an ekiduring rush hour in Tokyo.

It's an experience to say the least. And does not diminish one bit my love for the trains.

Yesterday afternoon I went out to lunch with two of my students, Fumiko and Mutsuko, from my morning class at Chuo. Mutsuko (see pictures in previous post) knew a small restaurant hidden in a garden off the road just a few minutes from the church. It was the type of place that doesn't exist anymore in the States--a small home with four or five tables. All of the customers are known by the staff and you can talk with them, the staff, through an open window into the kitchen as they prepare your food. There's a small room at the other end of the house with a huge window where the old lady who owns the house makes the soba and udon noodles. After the "lunch rush" yesterday, we sat with the old lady and learned how to make udon. It was a fantastically good time.

What's better is that the house is situated in a garden, the likes of which are unique to Japan. It's haphazard and seemingly disorganized. Flowers and plants of all times grow out over the path in mishmosh patterns. It's one huge, beautiful mass of herbage. There are two paths leading to the house, one from a small, gravel parking lot, the other from a walking path that runs along the Tamagawajosui. After we left the house, the three of us walked along the small stream. The path itself is terribly long, requiring days to traverse it in its entirety. The best word to describe it would be rustic: an uneven dirt path lined with wood fences. Trees jut up in the middle of the path and you're forced to step around and dodge thick roots that spring up from the ground. It was a very pleasant afternoon.

As my classes begin to come to an end, my schedule is filling up. This week alone I'll be going to dinner at two different students' homes, and I have two parties planned. Students who have been inviting me to go with them different places or to come to their homes all semester and realizing that they need to set a date ASAP and so, I'm booked! What a wonderful blessing. I have much to look forward to when I get home, but I have so much yet to look forward to before I leave here.

Koenji Awaodori Festival

Tonight I had the pleasure of going to the Koenji Awaodori Festival with two of my students--Mutsuko and Keiko. Here's a quick clip about it:

About 188 groups(ren), 12,000 dancers perform Awa dance to lively music and parade through the nine routes set up along the shotengai(shopping promenades). Koenji Awaodori is the second largest of all the Awaodori festivals held throughout Japan. It also highlights the summer of Tokyo as one of the three largest summer festivals of the area.

(http://www.koenji-awaodori.com/indexEn.html)

It was an absolute blast. The dancing was elegant and purposeful and pronounced. All ages participated. Each group was led by a tall banner made of lanterns displaying their group name. People wore kimonos, yukkatas, or hapi coats, and some of the women wore geta footwear. The dancers dance for three hours straight with their arms above their shoulders. It was absolutely fabulous. And crowded!

Here are some photos from the night:

This last photo is from Sunday. The three of us also went up to the Yakota USAirforce Base. The base held their annual Friendship Festival and opened their gates to the public for the weekend. There were bands and stands and demonstrations, as well as a 3-on-3 basketball tournament and a hanabi (fireworks) display to close out the weekend. Keiko is on the left, and Mutsuko is on the right.

End of August

Smells of Japan:

The burning incense of temples and shrines

Beer on the breath of men riding evening trains home after post-work drinks with colleagues

Old man sweat.

The last one is terribly disgusting. Old men have their own smell to begin with, but the sweltering summer heat of an out-of-the-ordinary sweltering Japanese summer causes the smell to blend with profuse sweating. And Japan is a country populated by those over 65. The culture is slowly evolving to more resemble Western culture and twenty-somethings who were previously married and reproducing are now working more diligently than ever and pursuing dreams of their own. The kodomo population is shrinking and schools are closing because there are not enough children to fill them.

The middle-aged group is rising in independence and the natural inclinations that Westerners feel towards their fellow man is very evidently missing. The mindset of the Japanese fascinates me. Group mentality occurs as naturally as breathing in and out. One for all. Yet "all" is a finite, countable number here. And outside that number, people are inconsequential. Perhaps we could say "One for all. Nothing for the rest." Every day in the eki, I feel it. To the man pushing past me or the two women blocking the ticketwicket so they can talk, I'm of less value, of less consequence than the cicadas that fill the trees this time of year. I'm background noise and easily ignored, though sometimes obnoxious.

While in the West, we might say we do this, too--especially if you're a human rights activist and start complaining about how we walk by the homeless every day on the streets or how the big corporations screw the little guy or whatever you want to say--but at the core, we recognize some humanity in those around us. It's different. I may feel demeaned by the customer who looks at me, her server, as someone who couldn't do better than this in life and is thus inferior; but here I feel like a piece of useless, purposeless furniture. They say that it's better to be hated than to be thought of indifferently, because at least then that person has taken notice of you... this is the difference I feel here.

Yahoo! featured an article the other day that highlighted the consequences of this mentality--the man believed to be the oldest in Japan was found dead in his room. Apparently he had been dead for 30 years. Thirty years... Neighbors who were interviewed never noticed that the man was missing, that the man had stopped coming in and out of his home, ever. Thirty years!

This opened the door for investigations into the "disappearances" of many other septuagenarians across the country who have, in fact been dead. Of course, officials look into controversies surrounding fraud--but really, is fraud the true problem or is it the fact that so many people can get away with hiding the death of a person for so long? The fact that others don't care to notice. The mentality is heartbreaking.

In one of my classes this week we read Max Lucado's You Are Special. It's the story of Punchinello, struck down by society, but prized in the eyes of his creator. It's the story of us and God. We are so prized by our Creator. We are, each of us, an expression of His glory. The story is impactful personally--but stretch your mind for just a moment and realize that if He loves us so ardently, then that means that He loves them in the exact same manner. As Christians, we are called to love.

Or at the very. least. recognize the expression of God's glory in a fellow human being.

Busy!

Today officially ends two weeks that were surprisingly filled to the brim!

Of course, these were all the good kinds of busy, but even the good busy-ness will exhaust you and pull you to your edges.

Last weekend, a team from Kim Sensei's church in Korea came. They spent their week touring Tokyo and learning about its religious traditions, in evangelism, and cleaning the church building top to bottom. This was really my first experience with Korean teenagers--my friend Seul Kee is Korean, and from the same church, but I've spent time one-on-one with her and she's past her teenage years. Koreans are excitable, energetic, and very touchy-feely. They greet you with hugs, hand-holding, and inter-locking arms. It can be surprising, but comes from such a joyful place that it's hard to be bothered by it! There were 25 of them, as well as several leaders and the youth pastor. Yes.. around 30 team members in that little church! It's a good thing they don't suffer from the "personal space" trait that most of us Americans do!

I spent the entirety of the weekend with them--from sunup to sundown, Saturday through Monday. We spent Saturday in one area of downtown called Odaiba (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Odaiba). Imagine Chicago's Navy Pier, but blown-up and heavily commercialized. There's a huge ferris wheel, several malls, and museums, as well as the Fuji TV headquarters (think NBC Studios in NYC on crack). We prayed over the idols of science and commercialism, and sat between Fuji TV and Aqua City Mall, singing praises in Korean, Japanese, and English. Once again the accessibility, the vastness, the creativity of the Body of Christ hit me full force. As the sun was setting, we sang over Tokyo Bay and a gentleman traveling through Asia on holiday joined us. I'm so comfortable with going about my day-to-day life at home with my Christianity being a fact that contributes to who I am in the same way that my brown hair and brown eyes are traits. But in this moment, our relationship with Christ was put on display and it attracted fellow believers. That every day would be like that! How comforting would I find it to travel in another country and run across other Christians so openly adoring the same Father who brings us all safely together.

It was a beautiful moment that continued on into the next morning when Thorston, our German friend, joined us for church. Kim Sensei was beaming as she looked around our little congregation and rejoiced in how God's Kingdom was represented: Korea, Germany, Japan, American, China, Brazil. All in our little church! It was beautiful.

I was able to spend all day Monday with the team, also. Those kids are just fantastic. I had so much fun talking with them and learning little bits of Korean! Although they spoke little English and little Japanese, communication somehow moved smoothly because the want to communicate was so strong. Their joy, their love--it's contagious. Monday we drove up to Mt. Fuji. To Fuji-san, as the Japanese refer to it. They personify the mountain with the predicate san because to them, the great landmark is a god. They have a saying, in fact, that they repeat when they reach the top--similar to "I have conquered the god. I am greater than a god. I can conquer anything." People journey from all over to worship at the shrines on Fuji-san. Which made it that much more powerful when we prayed over the mountain and sang praise songs on its side.

Unfortunately for us (or perhaps fortunately, depending upon your perspective) it rained on Monday and although we were physically standing on the mountain, we couldn't see very far past us. In fact we couldn't see the mountain itself at all! It was cloaked in fog. Nevertheless, thanks to the many Banner issues I've received from friends and family at home, we were able to get a photo--the entire Korean team, me, and my friend Hannah all reading The Dillsburg Banner in the middle of Mt. Fuji! It was fun and funny and they were all excited to pick through copies of my hometown newspaper.

(Time for class.... edit coming later..)

His Grace

No one can redeem the life of another

or give to God a sufficient ransom--

the ransom for a life is costly,

no payment is ever enough--

Psalm 49:7-8

It seems like such a simple concept and one that should be understood. After all, if we follow the Roman Road (as so many of us have learned throughout our Sunday School days) we know that the only ransom for the sin that we all commit is death and our Heavenly Father sent His Son to do just that. We've been saved this death by His grace and His grace alone. Christianity 101.

But the concept outlined in Psalm 49 becomes more difficult when it's put into action. When there are those that you love--really, really love--who are suffering under brokenness, through darkness, against lies and pride and anger. It's painful to watch when you know how deeply our Lord loves and how free is His grace. How precious and peaceful and hope-filled is life in the Light. It's so tempting to slip into if-then prayers. I've had to backtrack in a few of my own when I replay what I've just said or written.

In Romans 9:16, Paul reminds us that "It does not depend on human desire or effort, but on God's mercy." Of course, this verse in context refers to salvation by grace as opposed to works, but the concept is the same: we are redeemed by God's mercy, lifted from an empty life by God's mercy. "Ears that hear and eyes that see--the Lord has made them both" (Prov. 20:12). It doesn't matter how much I want it to happen, it is the Lord whose way prevails. "In their hearts human beings plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps" (Prov. 16:9).

I consider how often I attempt to plan my course (or the courses of others, for that matter) and I'm struck with how limited my sight is. For in my mind I can see only the future that I imagine and the past I remember; and physically I can see only what is directly in front of me, and perhaps a little to my sides, if my peripheral vision is sharp. Though I know there is a small oven behind me, I cannot see it. I cannot see my refrigerator magnets or what's past the shojii screen that's covering my window. I can't see Indiana or my dad's home in Hershey. I can't see the seas of the Caribbean or the stars or the moon. I can't see the future or the past. I can't see the street my parent's grew up on or the men my grandmother dated before my grandpa. I can't see what happened to make my parents who they are or the moment that I changed from a little girl into a teenager. I can't see who I'll marry or the children I'll have. I can't see where my best friends will be living in ten years or the reasons why they decided to live there. I can't see the hair on the top of my head or the calluses underneath my toes. What's below my floorboards and what's hiding behind my air conditioning unit? I see none of these things. But the Lord sees them all. And then some.

It's for reasons like these that I'm beyond grateful for the Lord's sovereignty. It's reasons like this that I'm convinced of His faithfulness. That I'm floored by His unchanging, ever-present, steady nature. Beyond a shadow of a doubt I know that He has a plan and a purpose and even if I ache so badly I'm brought to tears for those in my life who are broken, I will praise God that He alone can save.

The price on our heads is costly--but take heart, for Christ has already paid the price.

Hanabi

It's been a wonderfully exciting week here in Japan. Despite being just under two months away from coming home still, I feel as if things are beginning to wrap up. I've said several see-you-laters to many of the missionaries here as August is vacation month, a time to rest up, enjoy family, and rejuvenate. And I've finished off my lesson planning for the remainder of the term. I have four sessions left with each class--only four! And hearing more from those of you at home has pulled my heart in that direction.

Nevertheless, things are still happening here! The classes that I did have this week were smaller than usual--predictable as it's holiday season for the Japanese. But the smaller class sizes enabled deeper and more directed conversations and even as I bumbled through my Bible lessons for the week, we ended with questions about why we read the Bible, why there are two parts, and who God is as He's displayed in the Word. I met Yuri for coffee, too, this week and was floored to learn that her story is very similar to mine. We struggle with similar situations and relationships in our lives. It was encouraging to share. Isn't it amazing how sharing our beliefs and experiences solidifies them in our hearts? The more I share of God's faithfulness in my own life, the more I share the stories of God's faithfulness in the Old Testament, the more I find my heart encouraged and emboldened. My reminders to them are reminders to myself--God is faithful, never changing, the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. His love is too strong, deep, high, and wide for words.

I've expressed before that I feel myself in the midst of change. While life is made up of constant changes, this is a big one. And now, this week, I feel changed. I still can't put my finger on any drastic change in thinking or behavior (and perhaps that's because I'm still "out of my element"), but I feel it. I'm excited and scared and nervous to move forth. I'm nervous about what God will ask of me next and I'm scared I won't want to give it. But I'm excited because I know that I will. My deepest desire is to be used by the One who made me.

One of my most encouraging and intentional friends, Mrs. Carpenter, shared a beautiful reminder with me in an email the other day. She says, Our God is a God of adventure and mystery and fairytales.... let's chase Him down!

He so is.

A God of adventure and mystery and fairytales.

And I want nothing more than to chase Him down.

A few photos from this last week of Hanabi festivites:

God is Faithful

It's times like these where any talents that I have been given as a writer seem petty and worthless; for I wish I could adequately describe the joy and excitement that's burning inside me at the moment. Today was a day of many smiles. We finally made it to birthday week in my classes (that it was scheduled on this particular week was, of course, no coincidence) and I had so much fun learning with them about the history of birthday cards, candles, cakes, songs, and traditions. We sang together, enjoyed yummy Betty Crocker Funfetti cupcakes (thanks, Mom!) from "Happy Birthday!" plates (thanks, Dad & Elizabeth!), blew out candles and made wishes, and played Pin the Tail on the Donkey in true 8-year-old's-birthday-party-style. It was fun! And my classes had fun, too!

My Saginuma class had three new members for the evening and one lady in particular, named Yuri, seemed to enjoy class. She's staying in Tokyo for a bit, but lives in Vienna and grew up in Spain. She's eager to learn more English than she already knows (which is impressive because her English is very, very good) and what's more--she's eager to hear about God! After class she quite literally pulled me aside and asked to get together two or three times each week from here on out so that we could talk about the ways that God is faithful. "I'm a Christian, but I don't know all the time! And I want to be with God so I want to talk to you about how you know! We need to talk!" Her excitement excited(s) me. We made plans for Monday, but after talking more on the walk to the eki (train station), she begged me to find time to meet before then because she needed to keep talking.

This passion, this ferocity, this hunger for God...

Is it in us? Yuri amazes me because in her uncertainty, she exemplifies the Truth of the Lord. We are created to hunger and we are created to thirst, but do we always hunger and thirst after the Only One who will truly satisfy us? Yuri is so unsure of herself-- yet in all her questioning, she didn't question God tonight, she questioned only her own inability to be faithful to Him.

Please pray for Yuri. Pray that she finds rest in the knowledge of God. That she finds peace in His unchanging nature, faith in His promises, and Love in His embrace.

Another bright spot in my night was the card that my class gave me--this one all in English. Another priceless "souvenir" that I will treasure. I have been truly blessed. Thankfulness..... there just isn't a word strong enough....

Long time, no see!

Wow! I didn't realize that it's been so long since my last update!

July has been an utter whirlwind. The first week took me up to Okutama Bible Chalet, a camp

and conference center owned by SEND up in the mountains on the very very outskirts of Tokyo.

It

was the SEND annual family conference. What a great blessing to meet everyone who is so faithfully serving the different areas of mid-eastern Japan! A team from Faith Church in Indianapolis came to serve and run the children's program and it was refreshing to get to talk to

people about familiar faces and places. It was also refreshing to simply be in the mountains. From my apartment in Higashi Tokorozawa, I can see the mountains in the distance, but seeing them and being a part of them are two different things! The mountains feel just as much like home as my apartment in Lakeshore did!

The week was blessed with a nitty gritty study of the book of Mark, a chance to share and

present what we're each doing in our ministry, plenty of time to fellowship and get to know the other missionaries, a rafting trip down the river, and of course two 3 am World Cup soccer games. It was a good, good week.

There was one week of semi-normalcy wedged between another week and a half away from my home already away from home. July marked the midway point for my time here in Japan, which also meant the end of my welcome here as a tourist without a visa. So, last week, Anne Marie and I headed out to Taiwan. It was the first time there for both of us and we had quite the experience! We met several truly fun characters, witnessed the glorious beauty of God's natural creation, and sharpened our nonverbal communication skills as neither of us speaks Mandarin or Taiwanese!

We flew into Taipei and made our way around the island by train over the course of 9 days.

We hit Hualien and the Taroko Gorge, Kending, Kaosiung, Tainan, and Taichung. Each area had its ups and its downs, but my favorites had to be the scenery in Hualien, the beaches in Kending, and meeting up with the SEND missionaries in Taichung.

I feel so blessed to have been able to be completely immersed in culture and landscapes

that are nothing like my own twice this summer! Taiwan is a stark contrast between beautiful

mountains and oceans more blue than anything you'll find in a travel magazine, and the grime and stench of a developing country. Heaven and Hell

clash together like the waves on the shore. The amount of traveling we did from one place to another left much time to absorb where I was, where I am, what I was doing, and what I am doing. Where I will be and what I will be doing. One theme is gleamingly apparent: God is good.

I praise God that I am not, nor will I ever be, in control of my life. One year ago Japan was barely in the picture and Taiwan was a country I'd forget to mention when listing off the Asian countries. My sight is so limited. My physical sight, my spiritual sight, my emotional sight--limited. Limited and flawed. How blessed are we to serve a God who transcends all of it. All sight is His. All things are His. All is His. From the dingy streets of Taipei to the marble walls of the Taroko Gorge to the bustling square in Shibuya to my little apartment at the SEND center to Farmers' Fair in Dillsburg and the Indy 500 in Indianapolis. It's all His. I couldn't have it, I wouldn't want it, any other way.

Taichung brought two wonderful surprises: my old friend Tina Lin, and two new friends in Scott and Leslie Powell. Up until we arrived on Friday, we had thought Tina would be out of town so it was a wonderful surprise when we walked into the SEND office and saw her standing there! Tina serves here in Tokyo and lived with me in the SEND center until she left for home service in Taiwan in June. It was so wonderful to see her smiling face again! She was one of my first friends here. The Powells are the Asia Area Directors. They are gracious, hopeful, and faith-filled. They invited us over for dinner on Friday night and shared their story with us. After a rough year, they sat at the table praising God for His majesty and sovereignty.

How could I ever dare not say that God is good?

So, so good.

Saturday brought us back to Tokyo and I was so glad to be home. Thought I enjoyed the trip, it was time to be back! I had a brief delay in customs where they grueled me for half an hour with questions like: "Why are you here?" "Where's your return ticket?" "Who are you staying with?" "Where do you work in the States?" "Why did you come back so soon?" It was nuts. But they let me through eventually and it was only another two hour train ride from there back into Tokyo.

Sunday was a great day as well--the folks at Chuo sang me "Happy Birthday" and they all signed a card. I had to fight back tears, it was so special. It was a hard service for me to sit through because I hadn't been able to sleep much the night before, feeling a little sick. I was trying so hard not to nod off! But I made it through church and through lunch and through the drive home, where I decided that I could make it a little bit further--Janet had called to invite me downtown to join the team from Grace (my church in Indianapolis) who had just come in. So I headed down to Harajuku and waded through the Oriental Bazaar and up and down the streets lined with Dior, Chanel, and LV. Again, how nice to spend some time with people from home.

Today saw me down in the office working on powerpoints, scrubbing my apartment, fixing the vaccuum cleaner, doing laundry, unpacking, washing dishes, sorting out gifts for my classes, filling out addresses on postcards, returning Facebook posts and emails, and updating updating updating. It's been a long day and I feel myself dragging to finish so I should stop here.

Goodnight, friends :)

(Though you're all just waking up)

Home

This afternoon I searched Dillsburg on Wikipedia.

If you're here, you maybe have been reading my blog--so you're aware of how much I love being here. How thankful I am that God chose to send me, that God chose to send me for this period in my life. There's nowhere I'd rather be at the moment than where I am.

But I've been aching for home this week. Home home. Where I grew up and where my family is. There are people in Indy that I consider family, but here I mean the ones who gave me and the ones who share my DNA. I miss the hills and I miss the visuals. I miss the people. I miss the history. I just miss it. I'm incredibly excited to go home again and share with them everything that's going on here in Japan and here in me. I'm excited to hear what's going on with them.

Today was a fantastic day. The kids from the States' team stopped by the Center today and came upstairs to say hi which was a wonnnnnderful way to start my morning. I wish I could've been able to get to know them more because, from what little time we did spend together, they seem great. I spent the rest of the morning and afternoon in the office with Janet. I love working with her. She's been so kind in her quiet, supportive way. We spent some time looking at the calendar and what's ahead--SEND Conference starts next Monday and after that, July flies by. And then there's August. And then my time here ends. Our time is short. It's sad, but it gets me excited to come back. To bring reinforcements. Watch out, I might try to recruit you when I get home!

This evening I got to spend with Hannah, my friend from the CRC mission. After she finished teaching her English class, she met me at Higashi Tokorozawa eki and we went down to Laketown. I wrote about Laketown once before, it's the big big mall just a few stops down the Musashino sen. We had a great great evening, just walking around the mall and laughing and searching for all types of Arashi merchandise. We had so much fun. And then when I got home, I found emails from both my brother and my sister! I couldn't ever ask for more!

God has certainly blessed me with some amazing, amazing people in my life. Even people that I don't know who are praying and supporting me. Who am I to be so blessed? I am so grateful. It excites me to think about all of you. All of you. Even you who are difficult sometimes. ;)

Just kidding, of course :) But it's all of you who make every place I go feel like home. In PA, in Indy, here in Japan. I'm home because you're there.

Proverbs 27:17

As iron sharpens iron,

so one person sharpens another.

Gospel Team Finale

Today was the last HiBA Gospel Teams rally in Shibuya.

I would love to be able to be more involved in this ministry, but I feel blessed that God has allowed me to serve as I have. These students are amazing. They love God with everything that they are and they give give give until there is absolutely nothing left. They stand up boldly and proclaim the Word... to a polytheistic society, they shout that there is one God in Heaven and on earth

and that God is Jesus Christ who loves and adores and knows you. These students.. are awesome.

The rally had a great turnout. The number of people who had been coming to the rallies throughout the week and others off the street was big. And all of the teams came back from wherever they had been serving; it was good to see all of the YWAM leaders one more time, as well as the kids from the States' team (the ones I met in Chiba with Anne Marie a few weeks ago). There were so many people crammed into the hall upstairs that we had to create an overflow room, and even then we pushed the rows closer together so that more chairs could fit in.

Worship, skits, testimonies. And Dave, one of the YWAM leaders, shared the message as well as part of his own testimony. That one had me teary-eyed. It spoke to the aching p

art of my heart that longs to see everyone really get it. Really understand just how much they are adored by our Heavenly Father. Dave's story reminded me so pointedly of the story of a friend of mine, only my friend is in the thick of it-the pain and the anger and the brokenness. I am so thankful for people like Dave who will stand up and share unabashedly about the moments when God speaks. These words are filled with such hope. Such hope. Oh, how Christ loves us.

Since it was the final rally, we had another bake sale. Aichan and I ran it, and I think it went well. It was a nice vantage point for me, as it was the time before, to sit back during the lulls in sales, and observe the Church. How awesome are these brothers and sisters. How beautiful are these creatures that are hand-made by God. How joyful and hopeful and firey. How diverse in shape, size, color, language, heritage, likes and dislikes, fashion styles, volume. Again, I'm struck by the creativeness of our God.

The Power of the Holy Spirit was heavy in that

building as well. The joy was tangible. There

were students praying all over the rooms and several invited Christ to be Lord. And this girl, Katya, man is she an encouragement. Every time I see her, she's an encouragement, with her bright smile and big hugs and aggressive

amicability. But today, she was everywhere, expressing how the Spirit was moving. She'd stop and pray for and with any random person she bumped into. And of course there were hugs. I'm thankful that God created masterpieces such as these.

Anytime that God moves, it's beautiful.

And today was more than beautiful.

Changes

Isaiah 43:18-19

Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.

See, I am doing a new thing!

Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?

These verses have been on my mind lately. The entire chapter, chapter 43, is such a hopeful chapter and it cuts to the quick as certainly as it promises that God is working in you. In the very first verse God declares "I love you!" He's chosen you, you're precious.

I just want to take a printout of this chapter and run around, waving it in peoples' faces.

Look! Look! Don't be so discouraged!!

God loves you!

God made you; God chose you; you're so, so precious to Him!!

There are so many that I wish, wish, wish, could understand this.

But time and again the last few weeks, the Lord's opened my eyes to passage after passage where he says that He is the one who opens eyes and softens hearts. We are merely harvesters, it's God who plants the seed and allows it to grow. I get frustrated at this at times, but then I remember how royally I would screw up humanity if salvation were left up to me. God's plan, God's purpose, God's timing... are perfect.

Back to the verses.

These two, 18 and 19, are particularly poignant to me this morning. The Lord says, "See! I am doing a new thing! Do you not perceive it?" I confess that I don't. I know that this time is a time of preparation and a time of pruning for me. I know and have known that this time here is a sort of starting point in my life. It's like the Lord's saying, "Okay, we're done messing around. That other stuff was all to get you here. Are you ready? From this point on, we're running. You and me, we've got work to do." I know He's doing a new thing. But I don't perceive it. And it absolutely amazes me when other people do. When other people call out traits in me that I swear aren't there. It confuses me. But at the same time, gives me a little thrill because I know that it's the Lord's work they're seeing. The Lord has the power to clear or cloud vision. You will see what He needs you to see.

The Lord is good.

Today is the last GT rally in Shibuya. There's another bake sale, so I was able to spend yesterday evening baking once again. This time I made mocha chip cookies and banana bread. I feel like a true baker now because with both, I started with a very very basic recipe and made it my own.. The cookies came from a basic sugar cookie recipe and the banana bread had only the basic five ingredients: Flour, eggs, bananas, baking soda, and sugar! I will take this time to indulge in just a bit of pride and say that I'm very happy with the way my recipes turned out.

I've been getting very addicted to one particular Japanese drama called Hana Yori Dango. Oh dear. It's aimed towards teenage girls, but it's absolutely fantastic! I can't wait to share it at home. The first episode I watched, I laughed quite a bit; but now that I'm into the second (and final!) season, the things that I laughed at are heart-wrenching and last night as I watched episode 6 I found tears running down my cheeks. Haha! Just one more thing about Japanese life that I love.

I may not be called to stay here. But I know I want to come back. I would love to lead an annual trip with people from whichever church I settle down in and I'm so excited to know that next summer I'll have the opportunity to come back with the group that Grace sends each year. I know I'll be back.

Happy Saturday :)

Man...

What a day today has been.

I'm emotionally worn out.

First the car and then I got to Saginuma for class and the copier was broken. I'd chosen a tough article for tonight's class that was heavily-laden with vocabulary and had done a good deal of work putting together some exercises to practice that vocabulary.. only... with the copier unusable, so were the exercises. Twenty minutes until class started and I thought I was going to cry. In fact, I felt like I very well could break down in tears at that very moment, and even more so once they were all sitting in front of me--everyone present and accounted for, the largest group I'd had at Saginuma in weeks; and they all were seconds away from witnessing my first breakdown in Japan.

But even quick prayers lead to big results because our God is Big. It's not even until this moment that I've realized He's answered my own prayers. Once again, I have no idea what I'm praying for sometimes. In my other classes, after reading of the firey furnace and how our God is the Supreme God, bigger than a king, bigger than a gold statue, bigger than ropes, and bigger than a blazing fire, I'd prayed for God to open our eyes this week to his Bigness. And here He's done it. For despite my lack of any sort of preparation, they understood the vocabulary. In fact, with the makeshift exercises we pulled out, it seems that they really got the meaning of the words, more than they've shown before. It was exciting to me to see hear them yell out the words so quickly when I read the definitions...

..Wow. It's just awesome how great out God is.

And thinking back to this afternoon... how crummy the situation with the car was, but how wonderfully God provided. The gentleman with the cell phone. The gentleman who helped push my car uphill and off to the side. Steve who came all the way out to get me. God's just good like that.

Ya know? :)

Maybe It's Me?

Another day, another adventure.

Today my little K car broke down. I was actually in the middle of a tight road between Higashi Kurume and Kioyse, on my way home from my morning class. Looking back, it's comical, but at the moment it had me truly shaken. I was blocking the road, in the middle of a hill. I didn't have my cell phone, it was raining, and the Japanese that I can speak certainly doesn't include enough vocabulary to explain that my car battery had died.

When I parked at Chuo this morning, I could not turn it back on. So, after class, Kim Sensei, Fumiko-san, and a lady from the community helped me jump the battery. I figured I would be safe to drive home, but about 20 minutes into the drive, my windshield wipers began to slow. And then my music stopped playing. And my turn signal wouldn't work. One-by-one, things were dying in my car. I tried to put my window down to use hand signals that I was turning, but the window would barely go down. And then it happened--I was stopped at a light, heading uphill, and I felt my car shut down. And then I heard the horns. Praise the Lord for the E-brake!

And for the nice gentleman who, with the help of much sign language, inspected my car and allowed me to use his cell phone to get ahold of Steve. Thank the Lord for the gentleman who pulled off the road and helped me push my car as close to the wall as we could, as far out of the way as was possible. And thank the Lord that Steve was available and willing drive out to get me!

It was quite an interesting afternoon, that's for certain!

And it leads me to wonder if it's really the car that's the lemon, or if it's me! Haha :)

Tourist!

I just got back from my Tuesday night classes at Chuo--a very good week. The first class is a Beginner's Class and tonight my most talkative pupil returned after an absence last week. It was such a relief to have her back! We've been working on restaurant vocabulary, so this week I had them design their own restaurant. An activity I supposed would take ten minutes took the entire hour. Flexibility in situations such as these is a virtue that I'm learning myself. :)

The second class went extremely well. We are reading through C.S. Lewis' Prince Caspian. I'm having such a great time with this as I get a chance to recreate all of my own literature courses! Tonight we read the biography of C.S. Lewis, went through my character list for the second section of the book, learned some new vocabulary, and watched a portion of the movie (BBC version!). These students are my most advanced class and I'm enjoying teaching them.

One of the students from that class, Keiko, took me out yesterday morning. There is an exhibit from the Musee d'Orsay in Paris--all Post-Impressionist works: Van Gogh, Monet, Cezanne, Suerat, Gaugin, Rousseau--at the National Art Museum in Ropongii. It was fantastic! Ever since our art projects in Frech III, I've adored this period of art. But I realized as I walked through the exhibit how my interests are changing. I used to love the soft strokes of Monet, but more and more I'm leaning towards more defined shapes and figures.

Along with experiencing beautiful art, I also got to experience more of the Japanese culture. The pushing and shoving was so frustrating to me! The mentality here is outside my understanding. You are part of a group and for that group--defined however you'd like, work, school, family--you will do anything. But outside of that group, nothing matters. So people would be making way for a space or a companion and talking amicably, but literally shove others out of the way to get there. Almost as if they were blind to the hundreds of other people shuffling through the exhibit. There was a lady in a wheelchair who was straining to see, and people nicked her chair as they walked by, saying nothing and making no way for her to see...

After the exhibit, Keiko and I walked to Tokyo Tower--a tall building that mirrors the Eiffel Tower. It stands above the city and you can ride an elevator up to the Observation Deck and look out to the different embassies, Disneyland, Odaiba, the fish market, Mt. Fujii, Tokyo Bay and the Pacific Ocean--all the great places of Japan's capital. We saw all that we could and went to grab a cup of coffee, but left quickly because the smoke (all restaurants are smoking) was bothering Keiko.

We decided next to go to the Meiji shrine. Built in the 1920's, it honors the Meiji emperor and is the largest in Tokyo. It is incredibly large. Sitting near the center of the city, you walk 1km through gardens and forest to reach the shrine. Shrine architecture is gorgeous and you can feel the history, much like in old European cathedrals. Though they are certainly not all this large, there are shrines everywhere in Tokyo. Everywhere. It took a physical trip to the shrine for me to understand the sheer volume of shrine worshipers, how vastly interwoven shintoism is with the Japanese life. In the short time we were there, on a Monday, there were hundred who came, washed, prayed, clapped, and bowed. There were thousands of prayers posted on the wall. It was as if the Old Testament had risen up and smacked me in the face! Idol worship is alive and active.

I've been reading about Aaron and the ten plagues of Egypt--how each plague attacked a different god. It's so easy to read these stories and wonder how people believed in that stuff. To the Westerner, polytheism is a thing of the past. Or perhaps a thing of small, unreached, native lands far far away. Well, friends, Japan is unreached. Shintoism is a polytheistic religion. And people go to shrines once or twice each week to worship ancestors and nature gods. Here, too, presents another obstacle in sharing Christ. Because to them, much like to Ramses and the Egyptians, the Lord is just another God.

Tonight I decided to share in my Bible times the story of the Firey Furnace. After the first class I was worried. It's scary to share outright that there is one God when you see people stiffen and straighten, perhaps offended. My mission here is to love. I'm afraid of pushing people away. So pray for me here, please. I don't want to come screaming and Bible-thumping, but I want to come humbly, sharing. And I also feel like it's important to share the stories of the Old Testament, denouncing the baals and ashtoreths and dagons. Pray that the Lord's words are spoken and not my own.

The Bible Time in the second class, the advanced class, was good. Because they know more English, I felt that I had more room to talk and share my excitement about the Supreme God--God more powerful than a firey furnace! And one of the gentlemen, I think he likes to try and trap me, because he enjoys asking me questions. This week he asked why things like this don't happen now--why maybe then God save three men, but now He doesn't. Praise the Lord I had just read the biography of Jim Elliot because his story came to mind quicker than I could've asked for! God works for His glory, not man's. When He allows people to die, it's often for a bigger purpose. Though each of the men in Elliot's expedition died, that entire tribe was saved! Keito-san might try to trap me, but with God's amazing foresight, he won't be able to. :)

After the shrines on Monday, Keiko and I took a walk around Harajuku. Harajuku is a big shopping are just past Shibuya. Tall, tall buildings, and all kinds of stores (including H&M and Forever 21, new additions) line the streets. Bless her, she took me down Takeshita dori--a street that's crammed, and full of small, loud, extravagant shops for young people. A lot of the Japanese babydoll or Kawaii fashion that you see pictures of comes from around here.

Monday was a busy, exhausting day--made more exhausting by the fact that I had been out late with Hannah and two other friends on Sunday! We spent the day at Tokyo Disney Sea! I met Hannah last week; she's a fellow English teacher, but part of the CRC mission, not SEND. It's a blessing to have her and a relief to have someone my own age who actually lives nearby and has free time to grab coffee or go sightseeing with! We took the train down to Maihama and met up with one of Hannah's student and one of her friends along the way. That train ride is ridiculously long, but it ended up working out well--we arrived at Disney just in time to get the Starlight Pass, a reduced-price ticket. On top of that, Hannah's friend brought a coupon so we got in for a very very reasonable price!

There's certainly a reason there's the tagline The Wonderful World of Disney and Disney Sea lived up to it! The theme is the Seven Seas of the world and they have rides and shows from Sinbad, The Little Mermaid, Aladdin, Atlantis, 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, Journey to the Center of the Earth, and Indiana Jones. There's also a Venice with gondola rides (let me tell you, hearing Italian spoken with a Japanese accent is highly entertaining!) and a U.S. Port as well. The weather worked out perfectly--although it was incredibly windy, it didn't rain at all--fortunate, since none of us brought out umbrellas! (A big no-no this time of year in Japan.. an umbrella is as important as your Passmo or Suica card, the card that gets you into the trains) Of course, we didn't see everything, but we're planning on going back near the end of July. There is one day that I don't have tutoring and Hannah doesn't have class, so we'll go early and stay late! This time at Disneyland--magic castle here I come!

This weekend I was absolutely a tourist and I loved it! You can bet I slept well last night :)

Prayer requests-- like I said before, boldness in humility, love in bluntness, and vulnerable honesty when it comes to my Bible times. I want to share what God wants me to share; I want to be a woman of faith, not fear (how I love Beth Moore for this catchy, powerful phrase from her Fruits of the Spirit study). Pray for the Gospel Teams, the HiBA ministry, as they finish up their weeks of evangelism this Saturday. I know that God is moving in awesome ways in the hearts of the students, the leaders, and the people on the streets. Also pray for the month of July. Many big things are happening, many short term teams are coming in through SEND to serve, including one from my own church. Our mission conference is coming up and they are electing a new Director. My and Anne-Marie's trip to Taiwan is coming up, too, so safety for that. Pray for wisdom in finances and diligence in getting my work done. With the familiarity that I spoke of in previous posts, it becomes easy to slip into old habits :)

As always, your support is much needed. More than simply encouragement, it is a gift from God that gives me strength, openness, flexibility, joy, and peace. Thank you. :)

Driverrr

I've officially driven in Japan.

It's a fun feeling, being able to drive. Especially since this is a culture where driving is not the norm and public transportation is. I like driving because it gives me a better feel of where I am. I've been wandering around the last few weeks without being able to place on a map the different suburbs I'm going to. I have no idea which direction is north and which is south--I know only that I take train A to train B and somehow end up downtown in Shibuya! But even driving to Chuo three times has given me a better understanding of where I am and it makes me feel more secure.

Monday afternoon Steve Kunnecke drove with me to Chuo so that I'd know the way for Tuesday night's classes. He drew a fantastic little map and you can bet that I had that sucker clenched between white knuckles on the steering wheel as I drove for the first time on Tuesday night. Driving home was much easier and I decided to drive again this morning and wouldn't you know that by this morning I didn't even need the map! Granted, getting to Chuo Church is simple, but driving in Japan is slightly confusing period, so I'll take my victories where I can get them.

Being able to drive will also save a lot of money. As much as I enjoy the trains and enjoy having time to read as I'm shuffled from place to place, one round trip to Chuo costs me the equivalent of $9. We put just over $10 into my tank Monday that I will probably be able to get about 5 round trips. Driving will be a big money-saver for me.

This morning I was also able to head into church early, where I met with Noriko-san. Her and I have been meeting the last few weeks to practice Japanese and this week we met to sing hymns together! Noriko-san plays piano for our church and she plays beautifully. We started work on a musical version of The Lord's Prayer that will hopefully help me to memorize the verses more quickly. I'm excited to be able to pray in Japanese!

This evening I'll head down to Saginuma where I'll meet with Atsuko-san to learn more Japanese vocabulary and idoms. Last week we went over kore, sore, and ane--this, that, and that over there. She tutors me during the hour before class. This week in English class, we're focusing on American music. And what's more American than Country?! I have some samples to play (courtesy of Lauren McNabb, the lifesaver) and an article from Bilboard on a few artists. Tonight should be another good one--especially since the sun is shining once again!

I'm working through the book of Proverbs in my devotions, so I'll leave you with one (of the many) that stood out to me this morning:

Proverbs 16:9

In their hearts human beings plan their course,

but the LORD establishes their steps.

Closing in on two months..

It always amazes me how creative our Lord can be.

The Japanese culture and language are so different from the American and European cultures. You could almost describe it as opposite. Mannerisms, group-mentality, the written word, art, daily schedules, pronunciations, what is polite and what is impolite. Our Lord has created all of these fantastic differences between cultures--and not only those that I've been a part of, but the others as well! They are all unique in their own ways. Yet, when you get down to the core of who people are, what we want most, and what we need--we're all the same. What a Master Craftsman is our God to create people who are all different while remaining the same.

Life is Japan is becoming routine. Earlier this week I was blessed to be able to babysit for Nate and Michelle. I was sitting on the couch in their apartment watching the boys play a sort of hide-and-go-seek game and I thought how familiar it all felt. These boys, this view from the window, what we had for dinner and the way it was made, separating the trash, the Kanji characters on the Wii. It's all familiar.

The feeling of familiarity is odd because I never imagined that I would experience it. I imagined knowledge--understanding pieces of the language, knowing how to drive on the left side of the road and how to get from here to downtown by train, knowing what is what in the grocery store. But I never expected it all to feel familiar and comfortable and like home. There are different feelings of home--the release of tension and relaxation when you walk into home at the end of a long day, or the excitement that comes from finally pulling into home when you haven't been there in awhile. And then there's this, the feeling of home that you don't realize. When you're so familiar that you move around without even thinking. When you close your eyes and know what's happening where because home is built into your psyche.

This is not to say I don't miss Pennsylvania or Indiana or the States, of course. I miss free wi-fi everywhere and I miss how stores are open from early morning to late at night. I miss late-night coffee with friends and I miss understanding street signs. I miss street signs! And I miss my friends and family and Mona and the dogs. Absence might not necessarily make the heart grow fonder, but it certainly makes you appreciate different aspects of your life and re-evaluate others.

The time in Japan is a blessing and as if I haven't said it enough, I'll say it again: every single morning I wake up thankful to be here. I know that God is using me as an encouragement to the people here and I know that He is working in me, changing me, and preparing me for whatever may lie ahead in the future.

I'm working on my next newsletter now, so it should be out in the next few weeks. If you haven't been getting the others (the last was sent right before I left for Japan), please email me with your address and I'll add it to the list! LWalker730@yahoo.com

Quick Quick

Prayers for my car are much needed at the moment.

I'm having flashbacks to 2006 when my little lemon went caput on 465 just as I was leaving the airport, heading back to IWU after Easter break. That was a warmup for this, apparently. Haha. My car's dying, my roommates are moving, and we don't know exactly what to do about the thing. So prayers for direction, for my poor car's healing, for people, for money, for anything towards my car are a HUGE encouragement and support at the moment.

Some quick updates on life here in Japan:

I went to my first onsen on Tuesday--the Miyazawako Onsen. Wikipedia has a nice summary if you'd like to learn more about them. Public bathhouses. Relaxation. In the mountains. I felt like I was at the cabin again, which brought joy to my heart, of course. Anne Marie and I went Tuesday and it was a wonderful experience, so counter-American cultural and unlike anything I've been to before. It was a spa, vamped up. Beautiful.

Friendships are continuing to grow in each class and in church. Quickly, my weekly schedules are becoming filled with activities and lunch dates and shopping trips with these ladies. Conversation is coming more easily and they are more than eager to help me with my Japanese (which is also improving quite a bit!) and get so excited when I use any Japanese words. I can certainly see the Lord moving because I know I am doing nothing different/special/etc.

This, too, was exciting: This week during our chapel times in class we discussed the story of Zaccheus. Even though the little tune pops into my head from time to time, it's not often that I think about that story. But this week, we talked about the tax collector for the last few minutes of class. The ten verses came alive for me and I feel like I've learned something as well about the awesome love of Jesus. That Zaccheus, a liar and a thief, disliked by all, was welcomed into the family of God. That Jesus stopped, knowing the man was in the tree, looked up, and said "Zaccheus, I'm coming to your house for dinner--I don't care that you're one of the dirtiest, most distrusted men in town." That's so exciting to me! How publicly and decidedly and blatantly the Lord shows that he loves everybody. And I got to share that excitement with the classes. And I think a few of them caught the excitement because in every class, people asked questions when I was finished. "So Jesus was a kind person?" "Did everyone know who Jesus was?" Questions about Jesus. And you know, more than likely, this little story didn't make them want to love Jesus, too. But it got them asking questions. They were asking questions!

It's huge.

Just a quick update, but I wanted to let you know a bit of what's going on. This will be another busy week, including tomorrow night's dinner with the Saginuma class, a trip to the flea market in Shinjuku with Seul Kee on Saturday, all day at Hi-BA camp with Anne Marie on Monday and then classes will consume Tuesday and Wednesday, as always. Not to mention having to work with my wonderful support system at home to figure out what to do with my little lemon.

Thank you all :)

Then Sings my Soul

This weekend has been a time of refreshment and relaxation and encouragement.

Much needed, whether I realized it or not.

I was able to spend time with friends, laughing, and cooking, and catching up on tv shows. I was able to be around children and teenagers, American and Japanese. I saw where Janet lives and went to a Japanese wholesaler with Anne Marie. And I learned how to make onigiri with the Mikoskis and then be excited and disappointed about the series finale of Lost with Michelle and Nate after the boys had gone to bed.

And Sunday I was blessed to be able to attend the Nakumura girls' baptisms.

It was beautiful. Instead of going to Chuo this week, Richard had one of his friends pick me up and we drove out to the mountains--out to the Okutama Bible Chalet, where we'll be going in July for the SEND summer conference. It was a cold and cloudy day, but it was beautiful nonetheless. When you're surrounded by trees and mountains and the river like that, I don't think it could be anything but.

There were many people there from the Nakumura's house church network as well as some Baptist missionaries and people from the community. How great to get to worship with an even broader group of people than I am already! I love baptisms to begin with. They are so encouraging and so hopeful and so Spirit-filled, of course. They are moving. Hannah and Kayla stood up and gave their testimonies, told their favorite verse, and chose their favorite song for us to sing. And then Richard baptized them. And there were two baby dedications also! Nathan Nakumura and the daughter of one of the house church families.

After the service, we had a great time of fellowship over a barbecue--Japanese style, of course! The men grilled veggies and pork and beef and there were noodles and rice and it was all terribly delicious. And I got a chance to talk to the kids as well and the adults both. One of the ladies brought two couples from her apartment building--both nonbelievers, non English-speakers--and I was able to talk to them in bits and pieces. It's exciting to realize that I am picking up on some of the language--at least enough to communicate!

The whole day was an awesome blessing. Who am I? Why did God choose me to be so lucky as to be a part of this family's celebration? This family that I'd never even known about until a month and a half ago. It just goes to show how many amazing people there are all around the world for us yet to meet!

This morning, too, has been wonderful. I took the train into Higashiyamatoshi and met one of ladies from my church, Noriko. She took me out for keki to kohi--cake and coffee--and we practiced my Japanese together. Noriko is an amazing woman of faith. She depends whole-heartedly on the Lord for everything and sees His blessings in every thing. For me to be able to spend time with her is a gift.

I stepped out on a limb, too! I ordered the bean paste! I've had it a few other times, but this time I actually enjoyed it! The paste resembles baked beans, only it's a richer color and a much smoother texture. And the taste is sweet. It was served over a green tea cake that was sublime. The bean paste is very very popular here. It's used as an ingredient in many desserts, including cookies, ice cream bars, and little pastries. Daunting, but definitely worth a try!

Prayer requests for now are still mainly for relationship-building and help in remembering my students' names! On Friday, I'll go out with my Saginuma class and they're the ones I know the least amount of names for! That's also the class that has the most students that are anti-Christianity. The majority of my students, though nonbelievers, will sit quietly and respectfully during chapel time, but at Saginuma, several choose to blatantly work on other things. Their prerogative, of course, but it can be disheartening at times. So building relationships with this class is particularly important to me. Also, as you pray, please say a quick prayer for Jamie and Leslee back in Indy. This week is moving week for them and there is a lot to be done and a lot they are doing for me. Please pray for smooth sailing and patient hearts.

Thanks! :)

Weekend, Part 2

And we've made it to Passion.

I feel overwhelmingly blessed to have had this opportunity to attend a conference like this here in Tokyo. What's more, I was able to go for free--another amazing blessing through my HiBA friends.

The Passion World Tour is certainly that--a world tour. Yes, it travels to different cities in different countries, but it travels to the same Church, the same Body. And that was one of the emphases that night. No matter where we are on this planet, we are one Body--the Body of Christ. One. There is only one Church.

We started off the night watching a video of London's conference. Thousands and thousands of students, leaders, and young adults stood with arms outstretched SHOUTING prayers for Tokyo and all of us there. All of us at the conference and all of us who walk the streets. The 2% of us who are part of the Body and the 98% that are not. Friends, the people on that video were screaming. It was phenomenal to watch. That they cared that much about us, halfway around the world.

And at the end of the night, we in Tokyo, were given the same opportunity to pray. And in the same way we prayed, we shouted, we cried out for Manila, the next stop on the Passion World Tour. We were given bracelets to wear that said "Manila," inviting us to pray throughout the week as well. The prayers of the ones who came before enabled us to pray for the ones that came after, in still another part of the planet. We were also given the chance to physically serve those in Manila by giving an offering. We were able to serve Manila spiritually through prayer and physically through giving. And the giving was awesome. Because we weren't allowed to take an offering in the Tokyo International Forum. Instead, we had to go out into the aisles and pick up an envelope, fill it, and give it back once we left the building. It was more than passing baskets around an auditorium, it was a deliberate, conscious act.

The understanding of what the Church is was so strong in my mind that night. And as I flip through the New Testament and read the letters to the many different churches, the emotion hits me there, too. Paul got it--when he talks about remembering each city in his prayers and praying with joy. When you realize that these people are your brothers and sisters, it's difficult not to weep with joy at the miraculous hand of God that brings so many different people, different cultures, different world views together under His grace. Yes, He has the whole world in His hands!!

The rest of the evening was equally as powerful. Chris Tomlin led worship and we sang in English and Japanese, praising our Heavenly Father. And Louie Giglio stood up to speak, reminding us that our Father, our Abba, is standing over us always, offering us his arms, saying, "I know what you love; I know what you fear; I know your name and your address and your cellphone number. And you know what? I know his, too. And hers. And hers. And his. I know." The presence of the Lord is mighty. His love is engulfing. These are the types of moments that I never want to lose.

One of the worship songs struck close to my heart: Chris Tomlin's "Awakening."

I'll post the words. Read them and feel them and look them up on YouTube or iTunes if you want to hear the song. These words are powerful. Catch the line about the rising sun. Japan, Nihong, the Land of the Rising Sun. What an overwhelming sense of God's grace that line brings.

Also, visit 268blog.com to see photos of the night, read what Louie Giglio had to say about the night, read our comments, and see the other cities as well.

In our hearts, Lord, in this nation
Awakening
Holy Spirit, we desire
Awakening

For You and You alone
Awake my soul, awake my soul and sing
For the world You love
Your will be done, let Your will be done in me

In Your presence, in Your power
Awakening
For this moment, for this hour
Awakening

For You and You alone
Awake my soul, awake my soul and sing
For the world You love
Your will be done, let Your will be done in me

For You and You alone
Awake my soul, awake my soul and sing
For the world You love
Your will be done, let Your will be done in me

Like the rising sun that shines
From the darkness comes a light
I hear Your voice and this is my
Awakening

Like the rising sun that shines
From the darkness comes a light
I hear Your voice and this is my
Awakening

Like the rising sun that shines
Awake my soul, awake my soul and sing
From the darkness comes a light
Awake my soul, awake my soul and sing

Like the rising sun that shines
Awake my soul, awake my soul and sing
Only You can raise a life
Awake my soul, awake my soul and sing

Weekend, Part 1

This weekend has been one of those weekends that you look at and wonder if its really your life?

I looked forward to Saturday all week. The morning began with the SEND Annual Business meeting. Because I live just upstairs, I was able to meander down a bit early and help with a few last-minute items. I ended up slicing pickles, which left my hands sufficiently yellow for the rest of the day! But I also got to talk to the Suzuki's, retired missionaries living in Hawaii. Their son, Paul, runs HiBA, so I get to work with him a bit. But seeing their joy and their servant's hearts was a blessing so early in the morning. If everyone was able to begin their day encountering such joy, the world would be a better place.

I sat in the meeting for about an hour. It was great to see the entire SEND Japan conference together in one place and to get a chance to worship together--in English and Japanese! It was also good for me to see a little of how SEND is organized and run. This missionary business is a whole new world to me and it's fascinating!

A little before eleven, the fiasco started.
I ducked out of the meeting (which went until 3, I believe) and headed for the train station, only to find that when I had looked up train times, I found the weekday times, not the weekend times. So I missed my train from Higashi-Tokorozawa. And then when I got on the train, I inadvertantly got off at the wrong stop because the train systems run just a smidge differently on the weekends. I was a bit anxious, but at the same time, excited because I knew that I'm capable of figuring out how to get where I need to go. And I did! I was able to ask one of the ticket gaurds (in an odd English-Japanese blend) for direction to the train line I needed and then got to Shibuya and Hachiko from there! I was really excited when I exited the station and saw the bronze Hachiko statue (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hachiko).

Unfortunately, I was about 20 minutes late and that area is one of the busiest in Tokyo. You might recognize it if you saw pictures because it's the most filmed area in the city. To make matters worse, I have a pay-as-you-go phone and I had run out of minutes. So I'm standing in the middle of thousands of people, can't find my friends, and have no idea where to go from here. Only idea is to head to the Kōban--the Police Box. My best friend has been the word "Eigo"--English? I have to laugh because more often than not, every person makes the same face--tilting their head to the side, squinting their eyes, and sort of sucking in breath through their teeth like they're about to say "Oooh, no...." which is what this man did. So I resort to hand motions, holding up my phone, saying "Yen, Yen" and "Family Mart?" Luckily, a gentleman in line behind me knew a little bit of English and when he understood what I was looking for, he asked the policeman for me, and I was sent on my way.

Found the Family Mart. Check. Now to add time time. But I've never done it before. I know that you use a machine that resembles an ATM and you print something out, but for the life of me I don't know what to do from there. I worked my way through the all-Japanese system by following pictures, printed out what I needed and went up to the guy at the counter, who gave me the same face that I got from the policeman when I asked "Eigo?" But he ended up understanding more than he let on and showed me what to do.

So I'm in the right place. Wrong time, but right place. I have a working phone. Now to find my people. At this point, it's about 12:45--keep in mind, I was supposed to meet them at 12. I've been en route since before 11. I call Hege who transfers me to Ryan who tells me to take a bus. You can safely say that Saturday, I was innundated with new experiences. Luckily, the buses were incredibly easy to find and easy to use and they accept Passmo! I would be up the creek without a paddle if I didn't have my Passmo--it gets me through all of my transportation needs without a hitch. Unfortunately, there was a slight miscommunication for where to get off the bus and when I get off, I'm still about 30 minutes away from where my friends are. But they are very gracious and came to meet me where I was! Haha.

Phew. Crazy morning, but I wouldn't have traded it! Because I found my way on the train by myself, I got directions by myself, I reloaded my phone by myself, and I rode the bus by myself! Granted, I know God placed some amazing help in there along the way; but I didn't have a guide holding my hand. No one from SEND who's lived here, no one from HiBA who's lived here their whole lives. But it shows the comfortability level is rising. And I'm so excited about that!!

For the next several hours, I walked around with Katya, Hope, and Ryan. We had a blast! Ryan wanted to take some photos so Katya, who is an excellent guide!, walked us all over Tokyo for four hours. We stopped for lunch at an Italian restaurant, went to some beautiful parks, found a statue that looks like Chicago's Bean, went past the Imperial Palace. It was so fun to spend such a huge chunk of time with them and get to talk more.

Then, came Passion. And that deserves it's own post.