...One left...

I feel like I'm floating in gently lapping water. I feel like I'm being carried. I feel like I'm not really feeling. Which is perhaps a good thing, perhaps a coping mechanism that my subconscious has chosen without asking my opinion.

I said farewell to two more of my classes tonight. My heart is crying, but I just can't force it up any further. Because really, at the core of everything, is my Heavenly Father. And, like I've already said (and could repeat repeat repeat) I know... I know that He's taking me home for a purpose.

It was beautiful to share that with my classes tonight. Instead of sharing another Bible story, I shared my testimony with them. I'd love to say the emotion overflowed and I sang the words of God's faithfulness; but that's not it. I know the Lord will use the words. And I know I said what needed to be said---I looked each of them in the eye and told them "God loves you." Over and over and over. Love drove me here and that's the one, the most important message that they needed to hear..... but the frail part of me wishes I could've pushed out some tears. I could've felt it. Instead of floating along with the ebb of the tide.

Praise God that faith does not equal emotion.

Praise God that emotions are only that... emotions.

Praise God that He is sovereign and He is the One who works.

My devotional for today reminded me of that. Like Paul says in 1 Corinthians 3:6-9, we sow and we water, but it is God who makes the plants grow. Eyes that see and ears that hear--both belong to the Lord. Praise the Lord that He and He alone is in control.

I thank God for Atsuko, for Hisa, for Setsuko, for Yoshida, for Keito, for Keiko, for Junichi.